HELEN: Where's Hugo?

HUGO: Hello, Helen. How are you?

HELEN: Fine, thanks.

HELEN: Steve, this is my friend Hugo. Hugo knows about antiques. He's an expert.

HUGO: Are you interested in antiques, Steve?

STEVE: No, not really.

HELEN: Steve's only interested in one thing!

AUCTIONEER: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Berner's.

AUCTIONEER: The first item is a picture by Van Dyck. A first bid, please?

HELEN: Do you want to buy the picture, Hugo?

HUGO: No, I don't. I want to buy some furniture.

AUCTIONEER: The next item is a sofa. This sofa is 300 years old. How much for this beautiful sofa?

HUGO: I want to buy this. 5000 - OK?

PETER
MORAN: OK! $3000!

WOMAN: 3500!

HUGO: 4000!

WOMAN: 4500!

HUGO: Oh, alright! 5000!

AUCTIONEER: $5000 for the sofa. One! Two! -

GEORGE: 5500!

HUGO: Who's that?

AUCTIONEER: $5500 for the sofa. One! Two!

HUGO: Oh, $5800!

AUCTIONEER: $5800. One! Two!

GEORGE: 6000!

HUGO: What! That's incredible!

AUCTIONEER: $6000. One! Two! Three! To the American gentleman for $6000!

AUCTIONEER: The next item, ladies and gentlemen, is this beautiful desk. How much for the desk?

HUGO: I want to buy that desk. 4000, OK?

MORAN: Alright! 2000!

WOMAN: 2500!

MORAN: 3000!

WOMAN: 3500!

HUGO: It's very expensive, but… 4000.

AUCTIONEER: $4000 for this desk. One! Two!

GEORGE: 4500!

AUCTIONEER: $4500! One! Two! Three! To the American gentleman for four thousand...

HUGO: Who is that man? I want to know!

AUCTIONEER: $4800 for this table. One! Two!

HUGO: 4850!

GEORGE: 4950!

HUGO: Oh, damn! That's ridiculous! Who is that man?

AUCTIONEER: $4950! One! Two! Three! To the American gentleman for $4950! That's the end. Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. There are drinks and snacks in the next room. Good afternoon ….

HUGO: Who is that man? I want to know!

HELEN: Hey! I know that man!

HUGO: Which man?

HELEN: That's Mr United States!

HUGO: What! Does he buy antiques?

HELEN: I don't know.

HELEN: Hey Steve, meet Mr United States. Hey, Gary! Do you remember me?

GARY: Er, no... I'm sorry, I don't.

HELEN: Don't you remember the Mr Universe Competition in Lagos?

GARY: Yes, I do.

GARY: Ah, now I remember you! Your name's Helen. You're a Playboy model, right?

HELEN: Model, yes. Playboy, no!

HELEN: Steve, meet Mr United States!

STEVE: Hello, Gary.

GARY: Hello, Steve. Nice to meet you. What do you do,Steve?

STEVE: I'm an actor.

GEORGE: Hey, what about me?

GARY: Oh, sorry. Helen and Steve, this is my friend George.

GEORGE: Nice to meet you, Helen and Steve and, uh ...

HELEN: Hugo, this is

GARY: Mr United States. And this is Gary's friend, George.

HUGO: How do you do. So you buy antiques, Gary?

GARY: Oh, no, I don't. George buys them. He's interested in old furniture. I'm not.

HUGO: So you're the antiques expert?

GEORGE: Well, I'm not an expert. I like antiques, you know?

HUGO: Mmmh. Do you only buy furniture, or do you buy pictures, too?

GEORGE: No, only furniture, really.

HUGO: What kind of furniture? Do you prefer chairs or tables? Do you prefer English furniture or French furniture?

GEORGE: I prefer beds and sofas, you know.

HUGO: Mmmh. Do you have an apartment in Washdon?

GEORGE: No, I'm in a hotel.

HUGO: Oh, which hotel?

GEORGE: The Winchester.

HUGO: Ah, yes, a very good hotel.

HUGO: Who do you work for?

GEORGE: Who do I work for? It's not work, it's my hobby! Hey, where's Gary?

HUGO: He's over there! Look!

GEORGE: Ah, excuse me!

MORAN: Who is that man, Hugo? Who does he work for?

HUGO: I don't know and I don't like it. We want Jack Cooper.

MORAN: You're right, Hugo.

COOPER: Hello? 326 8971.

MORAN: Cooper? This is Moran. We have a job for you.

MORAN: His name is George. He's American and he buys antiques. He has a room in the Winchester Hotel. We don't like him. Do you understand?

COOPER: you want him dead or alive?

MORAN: Alive, but sorry. Very, very sorry. Understand?

COOPER: Yes sir, I understand. Goodbye!

MORAN: Goodbye, Cooper.