BAZ BAXTER: Well, thank you very much for a wonderful song, Tony Moroni. What a voice that guy's got, eh? Just like my wife, in fact: a lovely voice, but not a damn thing to say!

BAZ BAXTER: No, but seriously, of course, I'm not married. I'm still open to offers; all sorts of offers!

BAZ BAXTER: Enough of that. This, needless to say, is the Baz Baxter Show, with me, Baz Baxter, and I'd like you to give a specially warm welcome to my next guest. She's the author of numerous newspaper and magazine articles on the subject of terrorism, and of a soon-to-be-published book. She's been called “The Terror of the Terrorists”. All the way from Germany, I'd like to introduce you to Kristi Schmidt!

BAZ BAXTER: Great to have you on the show, Kristi!

KRISTI: Thank you. It's nice to be here.

BAZ BAXTER: That's a very smart dress you're wearing.

KRISTI: I'm glad you like it.

BAZ BAXTER: It's very low-cut, isn't it? Are you sure you put it on the right way around?

BAZ BAXTER: Seriously though, I love your hairstyle, with all those thick black curls. Great! Is it yours, by the way?

KRISTI: Yes, of course it is!

BAZ BAXTER: Funny, I was certain it was a wig. Anyway, all this has absolutely nothing to do with the reason why you're on the show, which is of course to tell us all about terrorism. So Kristi, you're the expert. Why does it happen, and what can we do about it, eh?

JEAN: Hey, Annie; come and have a look at this!

ANNIE: What's on, Baz Baxter? Jean, I'm surprised at you!

JEAN: What about that lady he's talking to?

ANNIE: I don't believe it! That's Kristi!

KRISTI: So, one has to try to see the phenomenon of terrorism in the whole context of contemporary Western society.

BAZ BAXTER: Whoa there! Take it easy with the long words, Kristi; this is a family show. We mustn't get too intellectual for Mr and Mrs Average Idiot, must we?

BAZ BAXTER: No, but seriously, I'm impressed by your English. It makes me ashamed of the way I speak the language. Where did you learn English: did your momma have lots of American soldier friends, or are you just a born talker?

KRISTI: Well, my native language is German, of course. I've never actually studied English, in fact; I've just picked it up through traveling, and reading, and through my work, obviously.

BAZ BAXTER: Amazing what you can pick up, isn't it? Of course the problem then is, how do you get rid of it?

BAZ BAXTER: Anyway, enough of this intellectual stuff; what the audience here, and of course all you gorgeous viewers at home, want, is “human interest”. I believe, Kristi correct me if I'm mistaken that you're close friends with a member of a terrorist gang, who are also into drug smuggling. How about that eh, folks?

KRISTI: That's not quite accurate. I do have a friend, called Annie Peters, who's a member of a group of radical environmentalists, but I wouldn't call her -

BAZ BAXTER: Sure, and her father, who pretended to be dead, but in fact is still alive, was the boss of a world-wide cocaine-smuggling ring! Wow!

KRISTI: Not exactly the boss, but -

BAZ BAXTER: I read your article about them in the “Sunday Post”. Exciting stuff! Keep up the good work, Kristi!

KRISTI: You're not giving at all an accurate account of what I wrote. What I in fact said was -

BAZ BAXTER: But go easy on those long words, know what I mean?

BAZ BAXTER: Well, that's all we've got time for this week, I'm afraid. So, it’s a huge great thank you from me to all my guests for appearing on the show, and to all you marvelous people out there. I just loved having you - know what I mean?

BAZ BAXTER: Come again next week! Bye-bye for now!

ANNIE: It's unbelievable! What a nerve she's got, calling herself my friend, apart from anything else!

JEAN: What are you going to do about it?

ANNIE: Well, first of all I'd better read her article in the “Sunday Post”. I'll go down to the library; they should have a copy of it. Then... well, I know this lady called Carol, who's a lawyer. I'll ask if she thinks I could sue Kristi, or maybe sue the newspaper as well.

JEAN: I can think of simpler and quicker solutions.

ANNIE: I know what you mean. Well, I'll go down to the library now. See you later, Jean.