The Best Excuse

There were many things Jesse Williams could do well.

He could play six on the guitar. Je could change his little sister's diaper while she was standing. He could throw a great curve ball. And he was a really fast skateboarder...

But getting to school on time was not one of those things.

His teacher, Mrs. Milquetoast, had warmed him many times about being late, so on Monday morning he skipped breakfast, hopped on his skateboard and got an early start to school.

He couldn't wait to see the look on her face when he strolled into class fifteen minutes early.

He was gliding along on the sidewalk when all of a sudden, his skateboard hit a rock, and Jesse lost his balance and fell.

The next thing he knew he was opening his eyes, feeling groggy and confused. He even had a bump on his head.

When he wasn't wearing his watch.

Oh, no, he thought, as he climbed up the stairs of his school. Of all the days for this to happen!

Jesse snuck into class when Mrs. Milquetoast was at the blackboard with her back turned. He grinned at his classmates and slid into his seat. Maybe he wouldn't get into trouble after all, he thought.

'Jesse Williams,' bellowed Mrs. Milquetoast, her back still turned. 'Can you please come to the front of the class.'

Jesse sheepishly dragged himself to the front to await his punishment.

'Maybe you would like to tell everyone why you are so late.'

Jesse closed his eyes and rubbed the bump on his head. It was very quiet for a moment, then he heard the classroom window rattling. He looked outside and saw leaves swirling in the wind.

'I've got the best excuse,' he said, with a smile.

'I can't wait to hear this,' said Mrs. Milquetoast.

'Well,' began Jesse carefully,' the most incredible thing happened to me this morning on my way to school. A giant gust of wind lifted me and my skateboard up and we traveled to the most amazing places.'

'I see,' said Mrs. Milquetoast, although she did not see at all. 'Perhaps you'd like to tell the class about your trip.'

'Sure, I can tell you some stuff if you want,' said Jesse. 'Where should I start?'

'Why don't you start at the beginging?'

'The first place I went was to Ehypt to see the pyramids. Man, those camels sure do stin.' His friends laughed at this. Mrs. Milquetoast did not.

'And what can you tell us about the pyramids?'

'Well, did you know that it took 100,000 men nearly twenty years to build some of the larger pyramids?' Jesse wasn't sure how he knew that. Only that he did.

'But I didn't stay in Egypt for long. The wind then took me to South America.'

'South America?' said Mrs. Milquetoast, raising her eyebrows.

'Yeah, said Jesse. 'Here, I'll show you.' Jesse took the pointer from the teacher's desk and strolled over to the world map that hung on the wall. He pointed to a spot on the map.

'That's where you landed?' Asked Mrs. Milwuetoast.

'Not exactly,' said Jesse.

'Not exactly?'

'No, I actually landed on the Amazon River. I think I was somewhere in Brazil. I never knew that my slateboars could float. It was really hot and I wanted to go swimming but that's when I saw the crocs.'

'Crocs?'

'Crocodiles. I paddled as fast as I could to get out of that river. Then I got lost in the jungle.'

'Jungle???'

'Tropical rainforest, actually.'

'I hungout with a family of chimpanzees. They were really friendly. They taught me how to swing from tree to tree. I didn't know that snakes could climb trees, too. That got me down in a hurry.'

'The chimps told me about this great waterfall. Angel Falls, the highest waterfall in the world...'

'Bigger than Niagara Falls?' asked Debbie. Her parents had gone there for their honeymoon.

'Way bigger,' replied Jesse. 'I knew I was late for school but didn't know when I would be in South America again. So I got on my skateboard to check it out.'

'Let me get this straight,' said Mrs. Milquetoast. 'You went to see a waterfall?'

'Well, that was the plan, but my skateboard had other ideas. The next thing I knew, I saw this huge ocean below me. It was the Atlantic Ocean. One of the world's five major ocean.' Jesse had no idea where he was getting all this information.

'Anyway, I sorta figured that it was getting really late but I forgot my watch at home. I knew just where I could find out what time it was.'

'Where was that?'

'Big Ben, of course.'

Even Mrs. Milquetoast was speechless for a minute. The classroom was silent, until she said, with a clearing of her throat, 'You are referring, no doubt to the clock in London, England?'

'Yep, the biggest clock tower in the world...and I almost panicked when I saw the time. Then I remembered what you taught us in class; England is five hours ahead of us.'

Mrs. Milquetoast smiled,but only for a moment.'Aren't you glad you were here for that class?'

'I suree am! Especially since my stomach was growling at me and I was afraid that I missed lunch...Thank goodness it was only a quater to twelve, our time.'

'And what were your plans for the mid-afternoon meal?' Mrs. Milquetoast inqured.

'Well, I checked in my lunch bag and my mom had made the usual: p.b.&j. Don't get me wrong, I love a good peanut butter and jam sandwich, but I really had a craving for Chinese food...and what better place to go than...' Jesse walked over to the globe and pointed.

'So you're telling us that you went to China to have lunch?' Mrs. Milquetoast seemed a bit doubtful. In fact even Jesse's classmates looked bewildered.

'Yeah... I picnicked right on the Wall.'

'You picnicked on a Wall?' his friend Benji asked.

'Sure. The Great Wall of China. Did you know that the Great Wall of China is the only structue on earth that is visible from outer space?'

'Wow.' The class was impressed.

'It was a good thing I found some people who were willing to trade their lunch for my sandwich. They just don't get a lot of p.b.& j.'

Mrs. Milquetoast started to shake her head. ' Jesse, your imagination has been working quite hard... Didn't you feel at all tired, in need of a rest, after all your travels?'

'Funny you should mention that, Mrs. M. In fact, I was wondering how and when I'd ever get back home. I reallized that my own grandparents had traveled real far to get to North America. They came all the way from Russia to New York City, and they mustn've been pretty tired, too.'

'Did they travel on skateboard?' The teacher asked with a slight snicker.

'No, they came on a big ship along with thousands of other s and it took them weeks and weeks to get to Ellis Island.'

'Tell you something, though. I was pretty dam happy to be able to speak English again. I even brought a special lady a bouquet of flowers.'

'Your girlfriend,' teased Amanda.

'Nope, the Statue of Liberty.'

'I knew I was getting close to home but before I knew it, I was swept away...'

The students in the classroom were sitting perfectly still. Never had the room been so quiet, not even during the finals of the spelling bee, when Missy Johnson had to spell 'subterranean' which she did although she lost on the next word which was 'ephemeral.'

'All of a sudden, I found myself looking at these beautiful mountains. To be honest, I wasn't even sure where I was... Until I saw these men standing beside horses, wearing funky pants and cool hats.'

Mrs. Milquetoast raised her eyebrows. 'And those men were...'

'Mounties, of course!' Jesse happily explained. 'The Royal canadian Mounted Police. One officer, named Mac, took me on a tour, and even took me skiling. I'd never skied before, and it was a bit like skateboarding. Did you know that the ski lift at Whistler, British Columbia takes you a mile up in the air? After being at such a high altitude I felt i needed to get down- and I mean way, way down under.

'Can anyone guess where I went next?' Jesse was clearly starting to enjoy being at the front of the class.

'The sewer?' asked Robbie.

'No.'

'The subway?' asked Lauren.

'Nope.'

'Down to the Grand Canyon?' guessed Rachel.

'Give up?' I guess I'll have to tell you... I went to the Great Barrier Reef in a land down under. Australia is not only a country, it's a contient as well! I went scuba diving and hitched a ride on the back of a giant turtle, and let me tell you turtle riding is not like skateboarding at all!'

'Is your trip nearly over?' asked Mrs. Milquetoast, as she glanced at the clock. 'We do have other subjects to cover, you know.'

'I just had one more stop. It occurred to me that I had visited North America, South America, Asia, Europe, Africa, and Australia. Every continent but one...it's the one I always forget in the geography quize. Antarctica. Believe me. I'll never forget it again. Boy was it ever cold! And it wasn't even winter. I had to keep warm by huddling together with this big group of penguins. They migrate every year so that they can lay eggs.'

'Anyway, these three penguins. I called them Aristotle, Plato and Socrates, they wouldn't leave me along. I ended up giving them a ride back home on my skateboard. They're around here somewhere.'

'Penguins? You brought penguins back with you? Mrs. Milquetoast was about to lose it.

'Yeah, they sort of hitched a ride.'

'Jesse, step out into the hallway, so we can have a little chat in private.' This was not a request, it was a command.

Jesse knew he was going to get in trouble. He hadn't really done anything wrong. Oh, sure, he was late, but it wasn't really his fault. And hadn't he learned so much new stuff about the world?

'Jesse,' began Mrs. Milquetoast carefully, ' we have all been entertained by your wonderfully imaginative story...'

'But it wasn't a ...'

'Now Jesse. Don't argue with me. It was a very clever story. I may even speak to Mrs. Brown, the English teacher, about helping you become a better writer. You have such an imagination.'

'But,' sand Jesse.

'However. We can't have you coming in late for school and disrupting the whole class. I want you to go home and think about what you've done. Think about how it is always better to tell the truth.'

Mrs. Milquetoast returned to the room and looked out the winsow just in time to see Jesse walking home. She could have sworn that she saw three penguins trailing behind him...