[07:50.09]  然而,如果孩子们在没有爱和没有自我价值感的环境中成长,
[07:54.57]and expect to be cheated,taken advantage of,and looked down upon by others.
[07:57.95]他们觉得不讨人喜欢,没有价值,料想会被别人欺骗,利用和看不起,
[08:01.33]Ultimately their actions invite this treatment,
[08:03.46]最后他们的行为招致了这种待遇,
[08:05.59]and their self-defeating behavior turns expectations into reality.
[08:08.57]他们的自我挫败的行为把预想变成了现实.
[08:11.55]They do not have the personal resources to handle everyday problems
[08:14.28]他们没有以健康方式处理日常问题的个人对策,
[08:17.01]in a healthy way,and life may be viewed as just one crisis after another
[08:20.43]生活被认为只是一个危机接着另一个危机.
[08:23.85]Without a healthy self-esteem they may cope by acting out problems
[08:30.01]rather than talking them out or by withdrawing
[08:32.50]没有健康的自尊心,他们处理问题时,不是把问题提出来,
[08:34.98]and remaining indifferent toward themselves and others
[08:37.32]而是用行动把问题表现出来,
[08:39.65]These individuals grow up to live isolated,lonely lives,
[08:42.48]或是采取退缩以及对自己和他保持冷漠的态度.
[08:45.30]lacking the ability to give the love that they have never received
[08:47.96]这些人在隔绝的孤独的生活中成长,
[08:50.63]Self-esteem is a kind of energy,and when it is high,
[08:53.36]自尊心是一种力量.当自尊心强时,
[08:56.08]people feel like they can handle anything.
[08:58.12]人们感觉好像能够处理任何事情.
[09:00.16]It is what one feels when special things are happening
[09:02.59]这就是当特殊事情发生
[09:05.02]or everything is going great.A word of praise,a smile,
[09:08.19]或一切进行得很顺利时一个人的感觉.一句赞扬的话,一个微笑,
[09:11.37]a good grade on a report Card,
[09:13.18]成绩报告卡上的一个好分数,
[09:15.00]or doing something that creates pride within oneself
[09:17.22]或者做一些使自己引以为荣的事,都能产生这种力量.
[09:19.44]can create this energy When feelings about the self have been threatened
[09:22.61]当对于自己的感觉受到威胁,
[09:25.79]and self-esteem is low,everything becomes more of an effort.
[09:28.50]自尊心不足时,一切事情都在更大程度上变成了一种需要费力去做的负担.
[09:31.22]It is difficult to hear,see,or think clearly,
[09:33.94]很难听清楚,看清楚,想清楚,
[09:36.65]and others seem rudeinconsiderate,and rough,
[09:39.17]其他人都似乎没有礼貌,不体谅人,粗暴.
[09:41.69]The problem is not with others,it is with the self,
[09:44.22]问题并不在别人,是在自己.
[09:46.74]but often it is not until energies are back to normal
[09:49.32]但常常直到这种精神回到正常状态,
[09:51.91]that the real problem is recognized.
[09:53.83]才认识到真正的问题是什么.
[09:55.75]Children need help understanding that their self-esteem
[09:58.27]  婴幼儿的自尊完全依赖于其家庭成员.
[10:00.79]and the self-esteem of those they interact with
[10:04.66]have a direct effect on each other.
[10:06.48]直到大约孩子上学时,外界力量才对孩子的自我感觉产生影响.
[10:08.31]For example,a little girl comes home from school and says,
[10:13.56]"I need lovings 'cause my feelings got hurt today.
[10:18.61]"The mother responds to her child's need to be held and loved.
[10:23.26]If instead the mother said she was too busy to hold the little girl,
[10:28.58]the outcome would have been different.
[10:32.14]The infant's self-esteem is totally dependent on family members,
[10:38.30]and it is not until about the time the child enters school
[10:43.16]that outside forces contribute to feelings about the self.
[10:48.12]A child must also learn that a major resource for a healthy self-esteem
[10:51.25]孩子也必须明白健康的自尊主要恶臭内部.
[10:54.37]comes from within.
[10:57.84]Some parents raise their children to depend on external
[11:00.57]一些父母通过
[11:03.30]rather than internal reinforcement through practices such as
[11:08.55]paying for good grades On report cards
[11:10.63]诸如为报告卡上的好成绩付报酬
[11:12.71]or exchanging special privileges for good behavior.
[11:15.08]或为好的行为况现特权,
[11:17.46]The child learns to rely on others to maintain a high self-esteem
[11:20.33]学会了依靠别人来保持高度自尊,
[11:23.21]and is not prepared to live in a world in which desirable behavior
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