he beginning stages of a relationship can feel very vulnerable. Maybe you’ve been betrayed or burned in the past and doubt your judgement about whether this guy is for real--or not! Here are seven guiding signs to see clearly through the clouds of vulnerability and determine if he truly loves you:

一段感情的开始阶段总是特别脆弱。也许在之前的感情中，你被背叛过，你怒火攻心过，你开始怀疑——嘿！谁知道这家伙是不是也是个伪装过的渣男！这里有七个迹象，能让你真正清楚的明白他是否真的爱你。

1. He values you knowing your value.

1.他视你若珍宝

I could tell my friend James really valued and loved his girlfriend, Claire. James knew, in a healthy way, about the details of her life. He knew about her family background, likes and dislikes, and her accomplishments. James was thrilled when Claire got an outstanding review at her job. And, even though Claire’s job entailed her having to travel and cut into their time together, he let her know that he was behind her all the way.

我可以说我的朋友詹姆斯真的非常疼爱他的女朋友克莱尔。詹姆斯知道如何以一种正常的方式来关心他女朋友的生活。他了解女朋友的家庭背景，她的好恶，她的成就。当克莱尔获得工作上的认可时，詹姆斯为她感到高兴。即使克莱尔的工作需要经常出差，不得已只能减少他们共处的时间，詹姆斯也能够体谅她，并且告诉她他永远支持她。

2. He wants you to be part of his future plans.

2.他把你列入他未来的计划中

Does he make references to upcoming events and ask if you are available or willing to join him? Linda, a thirty year old client of mine, beamed with excitement when telling me her boyfriend had invited her to his upcoming family get together? Does he joke about how your future children may look? If he is in to you then he is also wanting you in--big time--as part of his future.

他是否提到将来的事，并问你是否有空或愿意与他一起去？我有一个三十岁的客户叫琳达.有一次，她兴奋地告诉我她男朋友邀请她一起参加他的家庭聚会。他和你开玩笑地讨论过将来的孩子可能会长的像谁吗？如果他真心对你，他会想在未来很长一段时间里与你共度时光。

3. You are his priority.

3.你对他，最重要

In the words of Elaine, a female colleague of mine, "When a man values and loves you, you know you are high up on his list of priorities." Does he make spending time with you a priority? Do you feel like the most important person is his life?

用我的一位女同事伊莱恩的话来说：“当一个人珍惜你疼爱你的时候，你知道你对他很重要。”他会花时间和你在一起吗？他会珍视你如生命吗？

4. He is happy that you’re happy.

4.你开心他会陪你开心

Ted, a male client of mine, when discussing with me his thirty years of long lasting love for his wife, shared with me, "Her happiness is my happiness too!" A man who loves you will avoid doing things that make you unhappy. Whether is it going to a botanical garden, taking dance lessons, going to a sports event, or rubbing your feet, he will learn the things will make you happy, and he’ll make an effort to do those things.

我的一个男客户泰德，和我分享了他对妻子长达三十年的持久的爱，“每次看到她很开心，我就觉得特别幸福！”一个爱你的人会避免做那些让你不快乐的事。是否要去逛公园，参加舞蹈课，参加一个体育活动，或揉你的脚，他将学习如何让你快乐，并且努力做让你开心的事

5. He values you missing him and he misses you when you’re apart.

5.思念是一种病

Does he appreciate that you miss him? Does he miss you? Does he make an effort to reach out? This doesn’t mean he is constantly thinking about every molecule of your being! That would be an unhealthy obsession. On the healthy side, however, is him texting to see how you are doing. Perhaps he may send you a work related article of value or a funny joke he found online.

他在意你想念他吗？他会想念你吗？他会努力去约你出去吗？这并不意味着他痴迷于你的每一个细胞！这样的人就有点病态了。正常的状态是，他总是给你发短信问你在干什么。有时他会给你发一篇工作相关的文章，或是他在网上找到的一个有趣的笑话。

6. He goes out of his way for you.

6.漂洋过海来见你

Joan, a forty-five year old physician, had tears of joy when telling me about her boyfriend who drove thirty miles out of his way to make sure she felt safe when leaving work on a night she had to work unusually late. Is he there for you when there is a problem? True love is about meeting needs of the other person.

约恩，一位四十五岁的医生，带着喜悦的眼泪告诉我她的男朋友，在一个她加班的晚上开三十公里车来找她以确保她安全回家。当你遇到困难的时候他在你身边吗？真正的爱是当你需要，我永远在你身边。

7. His ego is your friend, not your enemy

7.他会为你放下自尊

Tony, a thirty-three year old rising executive, felt pride in being able to turn off his corporate ego and admit when he is wrong with wife, Leah. Love means engaging in self-reflection rather than self-love when you have to reach deep inside and admit that you are wrong.

托尼，一位三十三岁的潜力股执行官，为他能够放下自尊心向妻子承认错误而感到自豪。爱意味着乐于进行自我反思，而不是当你扪心自问自己错了的时候，还碍于面子不敢承认。