BEDGES: Excuse me! I'm looking for a Mr Gusper.

CHINESE RECEPTIONIST: At your service!

BEDGES: It's very urgent. I've got to find him immediately.

RECEPTIONIST: Find whom?

BEDGES: Mr Gusper! I believe he's staying here.

RECEPTIONIST: It's perfectly possible, sir. Many people are staying in this hotel. Let me look in the register. Can I have your friend's name, please?

BEDGES: I just said, Mr Gusper! Spelt G-U-S-P-E-R.

RECEPTIONIST: Let me see... Yes, he checked in today.

BEDGES: Good. Well, can I speak to him then?

RECEPTIONIST: What is your name, please, sir?

BEDGES: Erm… er… John Smith.

RECEPTIONIST: Do you spell that with an “I” or a “Y”, Mr Smith?

BEDGES: Er... with an “I”. Look, it doesn’t matter! Please, can you just call his room?

RECEPTIONIST: Smith with an “I”. I'm afraid Mr Gusper isn't in his room at the moment. He's gone out to lunch.

BEDGES: What?

RECEPTIONIST: A young lady came to collect him about five minutes ago. You've just missed him, I'm afraid.