AIRLINE PILOT: Good afternoon everybody, this is Captain Paquita speaking. I hope you've been enjoying your flight with Band Air, because you sure as hell won't enjoy what's going to happen next. We're about to fly into a real heavy storm, with thunder and lightning, and all that kind of stuff. Well, I hope you've got plenty of insurance, folks, because here we go!

MARCO: Aaagh! I can't bear flying when it's like this! I wish I'd stayed home!

WACKY LADY: It's too late for that now! Why don't you look at this way: if you survive this flight you'll have a great story to tell your grandchildren. And if you don't, why, you won't have any grandchildren, so there's no problem!

MARCO: Oh, that thunder! I can't bear storms; I get so nervous!

LADY: You know, you really ought to try and relax more.

MARCO: But I can't! This kind of thing makes me terribly tense. I wish I was at home!

LADY: You've got nervous tension, haven’t you? Ever tried taking anything for it?

MARCO: I have some tranquilizers, and some sleeping pills too, but they don't seem to help. Aaagh!

LADY: Maybe you ought to try something stronger.

MARCO: I suppose so, yes. I don't know what, though.

LADY: I've got just what you need; let me have a look in my bag...

LADY: Ah, here we are!

MARCO: “Obliteron tablets. Take one a week. Do not exceed the stated dose.” What do they do?

LADY: Oh, they make you feel great! Here, have a few. And here's something to wash them down with.

MARCO: Alright. Hey, this is whisky!

LADY: The finest American Bourbon.

MARCO: But surely I oughtn't to drink alcohol with these pills?

LADY: You'll be alright! Trust me!

MARCO: Well, OK, but, you know, I'm starting to feel a bit weird already.

STEWARDESS: What's happened? Is he alright?

LADY: Oh yes, my friend has had a bit too much to drink, that’s all; I'll take care of him.

STEWARDESS: If you're sure -

LADY: Quite sure, thank you, Miss.

PILOT: Hi there, this is Captain Paquita again! Well, that was one hell of a storm, wasn't it? We came through it alright, though, apart from one of the wings falling off. Haha- ha! I'm only joking, folks, don't worry. I like telling jokes, in fact I wish I wasn't just a dumb airline pilot. I mean, like, who cares about the pilot, right? I might as well be a computer, for all you care. No, I wish I was a comedian, out there on TV, making the people laugh, making them love me.... Ever since I was a little boy I wanted to be a comedian, you know, folks. But my momma wouldn't let me. She said: “You, a comedian? Don't make me laugh!” So guess what? Now I'm a comedian and an airline pilot. Get this, folks; we're out of fuel. It looks like you're going to have to get out and push! Ha-ha-ha! That was a joke, right? Don't laugh too loud, you'll wake the copilot. Seriously though, folks, this plane, or what's left of it, will be landing in Mexico City in about half an hour.

MARCO: Where am I? What's happened?

LADY: Good morning, Marco! Are you feeling better now?

MARCO: I've got the most terrible headache! I think I must have flu, or something. Have you got a thermometer. I ought to take my temperature.

LADY: You don’t need a thermometer, Marco, you need a drink. That’ll put you back on Your feet again. Trust me, I know about these things.

MARCO: No, no!! I mean, I do trust you, of course, but... like, would you mind telling me where I am - and how I got here?

LADY: You're in Mexico City, in my apartment. You were really out of it on the plane, you know, Marco. Someone had to take care of you.

MARCO: But I'm on a business trip; I ought to be working. I must get up!

MARCO: Aaagh! Oh no, I think I’ve cut myself! Have you got a bandaid?

LADY: I don’t think so. I’ve got some good painkillers, though. Let me have a look...

LADY: Yeah, these ones are amazing. They’re supposed to be for horses, but who cares? Take a couple of these with a tequila and you won’t feel a thing.

MARCO: No way, no, absolutely not! I mean, I'm sorry, but I really must get to my hotel and set up my sales appointments.

LADY: Business before pleasure, eh, Marco?

MARCO: Er.. yes, you could say that. Well, thank you very much for your hospitality.

LADY: What hospitality? Come on Marco, you hardly gave me a chance.

MARCO: Look I'm sorry, I really must go.

LADY: You Italians really know how to enjoy yourselves, don’t you?

MARCO: It's been a great pleasure meeting you. Er... byebye.

LADY: Bye, Marco. Have fun!

MARCO: Oh, damn! Never mind. I'd better go to the hotel and get cleaned up; I've still got time to make a few calls today....