[00:00.00]Passage 83. Why I Want a Wife

[00:06.24]I belong to that classification of people known as wives.

[00:13.12]I am A Wife. And, not altogether incidentally,I am a mother.

[00:17.73]Not too long ago a male friend of mine appeared on the scene fresh from a recent divorce.

[00:24.04]He had one child, who is, of course, with his ex-wife.

[00:27.55]He is looking for another wife.

[00:29.96]As I thought about him while I was ironing one evening,

[00:32.91]it suddenly occurred to me that I, too, would like to have a wife.

[00:36.75]Why do I want a wife?

[00:38.83]I would like to go back to school so that I can become econmically independent,

[00:43.53]support myself, and if need be,support those dependent upon me.

[00:47.36]I want a wife who will work and send me to school.

[00:50.53]And while I am going to school I want a wife to take care of my children.

[00:54.69]I want a wife who take care of my physical needs.

[00:58.30]I want a wife who will keep my house clean.

[01:01.36]I want a wife who cooks the meals, a wife who is a good cook.

[01:05.52]I want a wife who will plan the menus, do the necessary grocery shopping,prepare the meals,

[01:11.43]serve them pleasantly, and then do the cleaning up while I do my studying.

[01:15.91]I want a wife who will care for me when I am sick

[01:19.36]and sympathize with my pain and loss of time from school.

[01:22.54]I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a wife’s duties.

[01:28.55]But I want a wife who will listen to me

[01:31.27]when I feel the need to explain a rather difficult point I have come across in my course of studies.

[01:37.62]And I want a wife who will type my papers for me when I have written them.

[01:37.62]When I am through with school and have a job,

[01:41.01]I want my wife to quit working and remain at home

[01:43.64]so that my wife can more fully and completely take care of a wife’s duties.

[01:47.90]If, by chance, I find another person more suitable as a wife than the wife I already have,

[01:54.79]I want the liberty to replace my present wife with another one.

[01:58.62]Naturally, I will expect a fresh, new life;

[02:01.80]my wife will take the children and be solely responsible for them so that I am left free.

[02:07.60]My god, who wouldn’t want a wife?