位置:首页 > BEC > BEC初级 > BEC初级写作指导
名师点评网友BEC初级作文(5)
日期:2010-06-30
  本期作文题目:
  You are the manager of a small office. In order to reduce costs and improve the company's environmental practices, you have decided to collect and recycle all paper used in the office.
  Write a memo of 40-50 words
  informing staff of the new policy.
  explaining how the paper will be collected
  requesting staff to co-operate with the scheme.
  参考作文
  Sample 48 words
  TO: All staff
  From: Paul Blake
  Please note that from next Monday we are introducing an environmentally friendly scheme. All used paper from the office will be recycled. Used sheets should be placed in the green bin next to the photocopier for collection. All staff ate asked for their full cooperation with this scheme.
  网友作文一:
  TO:All staff
  FROM:Manager
  RE:recycle paper policy
  In order to reduce costs and improve our company's environmental practices,I decide to[1] collect and recycle all paper used in the office.you shoud place your paper in the green box near the fountain before 6 pm on friday,we will recycle them once a week.
  Cooperate please[2].
  [1]你不是公司的助理或者负责清洁的吧?怎么自己去collect paper? 改为:it is decided to ....
  [2]这句话应该放在上面一段的最尾。不是please, 而是we need your cooperation.
  网友作文二:
  To: All staff
  From: Mr. Za
  Here is the new policy aim to[1] reduction the costs[2] and improvement of the environmental practices of our company. Used paper in this office, on effect of this policy, should be collected by one appointed clerk each day for recycle use by selling them to recycle bin for a profit. [3] Please cooperate with this policy for our own good and each one will serve the duty in turn. [4]
  Thank you
  [1]结构问题,后面应该是分词做定语或状语,改为:aiming to
  [2]反了,应该是:cost reduction 另外,aim to 是个动词词组,to 是介词么? 后面应该是动词词组。
  [3]公司要靠卖废品来取得利润么?这句话说得可是太掉价了。去掉吧。
  [4]去掉。


 1/2    1 2 下一页 尾页